Why You're Stuck (10 Ways Out)

Where do dreams go to die?

Think of that one dream. Yeah, that one!

Picture it in your mind. We all have at least one.

The dream that’s been gathering dust because life got in the way.

Or maybe you didn’t have the guts to chase it? Maybe you did take a shot and ended up flat on your face.

The question isn’t why you failed but why you keep failing.

Let’s cut to the chase: failure is part of life.

Some people are better at it than others. They turn failure into an art form. They rack up “shouldna-coulda-woulda's” like trophies on a wall.

So, what’s the real issue?

I have helped people untangle problems. I have helped companies untangle their people.

There is always a pattern. The reasons for failure aren’t unique to relationships, money, or confidence.

They’re foundational. They show up in every corner of our lives.

The truth is, most of us sabotage ourselves long before life has a chance to step in. It’s not because you can’t handle rejection or because starting that business is too hard.

How you think and act in one area leaks into everything else.

That fear of rejection? It’s why you didn’t ask for that promotion.

That passive-aggressive fight with your partner? It’s why you stay in your comfort zone instead of moving to a new city.

The real culprit?

Your mindset.

It’s running your life, and it’s running it into the ground.

Here are 10 ways you’re setting yourself up for failure—and how to stop.

Brace yourself.

1. You’re Afraid to Stand Out

Society is a dream-killer.

It wants you to stay in your lane, play it safe, and avoid rocking the boat.

Ever notice how people get uncomfortable when someone decides to break out of the mold?

That discomfort is why you’re afraid to make bold moves.

Everyone who’s ever done anything worthwhile faced criticism. Even from the people closest to them.

If you can’t handle being called crazy, arrogant, or selfish, then you’re not ready for success.

Fix it: 

Embrace the fact that you will be misunderstood.

People won’t get it, and that’s okay.

Be weird, be bold, and be relentless.

2. You Give Up Too Soon

Most people quit before they even start.

The moment things get tough, they’re out. They want instant results and instant gratification.

They love the idea of success but not the reality of what it takes to get there.

Success is a long game. It’s about consistency, about showing up day after day, long after the excitement has worn off. It’s about pushing through when nothing seems to be working.

Dan Pyne gets it. And who in the world is Dan Pyne?

He’s not a household name, but his fingerprints are all over some of the biggest movies in Hollywood.

Movies like The Manchurian Candidate, Any Given Sunday, and The Sum of All Fears are a few. And some binge-worthy Netflix, too, like Bosch, The Street, and Alcatraz.

Yeah, he wrote the screenplays for those.

But for every success, there are as many setbacks. Scripts that never saw the light of day. Pilots that never got picked up.

He kept grinding. He kept refining his craft. Even when his projects didn’t pan out, he used them as fuel to keep going.

He is a silent elite in Hollywood. Has been for decades.

Success isn’t about one big break.

It’s about a thousand small ones. It’s about finding joy in the work, even when no one’s watching.

Most people fail not because they lack talent but because they didn’t push hard enough.

I’m glad Dan Pyne never gave up. His persistence intersected my journey in a way I could have never expected.

Let me tell you why.

In 2006, I decided investing in a movie would be a great idea.

So, I became an executive producer on a dark comedy called Get Back Jack (Remarkable Power).

Executive Producer. Sounds fancy, right?

But that's just Hollywood speak for being one of the money guys. The movie’s still out there on streaming. It’s good. You should watch it.

But like a lot of films, it ran over budget and came out too long. Negotiating with stars like Kevin Nealon and Tom Arnold. But that's another story.

We were talking to Creative Artists Agency (CAA) at the time. The film had to be cut down to 90 minutes. Otherwise, no one would touch it.

This was a make-or-break moment. And this is where Dan Pyne comes in.

One of my fellow executive producers knew Dan.

Despite his busy schedule, Dan helped us edit the movie to a tight, compelling 90 minutes.

That’s what it took. Cinemas and streaming services picked up the movie. I negotiated a deal with Showtime, and we were off to the races.

What could have been a failure turned into a success.

This story isn't about me. Or Hollywood.

This story is about you.

It’s about not giving up, even when the odds are against you.

It’s about playing the long game. Find fulfillment in the work and stay the course, even when no one else believes in you.

When you feel like throwing in the towel, don't.

Remember this: success isn’t a straight line.

It’s full of twists and turns, setbacks and comebacks. It’s not about the end result.

It’s about who you become in the process. Keep pushing when everyone else quits.

We’ve all heard it: “Nothing worth having comes easy.”

But do you really believe that?

You need to.

Because most people don’t. They give up and complain instead of persevere and succeed.

Fix it: 

Choose one thing you’ve given up on and pick it back up.

It’s not too late unless you make it that way.

It's that simple.

3. You Think You Know It All

You think you’ve got it all figured out. The plans. The path. The strategy.

But reality slaps you in the face and says, “Not so fast.”

In 1985, Steve Jobs was fired from Apple—a company he co-founded.

Imagine that—a visionary kicked out of his own creation. For most people, that would be game over.

Jobs didn't see it like that.

He took the unexpected route and founded NeXT, a tech company that barely made a dent in the market.

He bought Pixar, a struggling animation studio, with money he didn’t have. To outsiders, it looked like a series of flops.

The kind of failures that make you question everything.

Pixar went on to create Toy Story, the first computer-animated feature film. It is now a cultural phenomenon.

Apple, struggling without Jobs, bought NeXT in 1997 for 429 Million bucks. Not too shabby.

Jobs was back at the helm, ready to rewrite the rules.

What happened next was history in the making. iMac. iPod. iPhone.

Products that transformed Apple into the global powerhouse it is today.

Jobs didn’t plan for the failures, but he didn’t let them define him either.

The takeaway?

You think you know the way to success, but life will throw curveballs. Embrace them.

The path you don’t see is often the one that leads to greatness.

The question isn’t whether you have it figured out. You don’t. None of us do.

The question is, what are you going to do when everything goes out the window?

Because that’s where real growth happens. When your back is against the wall.

That’s when you learn what you’re made of.

Real winners? They’re humble. They know there’s always more to learn.

Fix it: 

Assume you know nothing.

Be a student first, a teacher second.

Your results will speak for themselves.

4. You’re a Lone Wolf

You think you can do it all on your own.

Spoiler alert: you can’t.

Success isn’t about what you know; it’s about who you know. The right connections can open doors you didn’t even know existed.

There is a good reason people say, "Your net worth is your network."

70% of jobs in the US are never advertised because 85% are filled via networking. (Forbes)

Isolation can be your downfall.

Surrounding yourself with talented, driven individuals opens up a world of possibilities.

The power of your network gives you access you can't achieve on your own. It gives you new ideas.

New insights. New resources.

Remember, collaboration isn’t optional. It’s essential for the long term.

Embrace those connections.

You never know when a single relationship might lead you to the person who can change everything.

My relationships led me to Dan Pyne. He fixed our movie, Get Back Jack (Remarkable Power).

Your network can be the key to unlocking opportunities you never thought possible.

Fix it: 

Reach out to one person in your field.

Ask for advice, offer value, or start a conversation.

You never know where it might lead.

5. You’d Rather Be Right Than Get It Right

The fastest way to fail?

Argue with the people who are trying to help you.

If you’re more invested in proving your point than in improving your life, you’re already screwed.

To grow, you need feedback.

You're cutting off your growth if you’re too busy defending your stance.

It is not about being right; it’s about being better.

Fix it: 

Next time someone gives you advice, shut up and listen.

You don’t have to agree but should be open to learning.

There is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth.

6. You’re Too Distracted

Social media, Netflix, endless scrolling—it’s killing your potential.

Your attention is being sold to the highest bidder, and you’re letting it happen.

I gave up sports, news and politics for the last two years.

The clarity I gained was unbelievable.

I learned this: What we think is essential is mostly noise.

Fix it: 

Cut out one distraction this week.

Use that time to work on something meaningful.

Watch how your life changes.

7. You Refuse to Take Responsibility

Blaming others is easy.

Taking responsibility is hard.

But until you own your situation, you’ll never have the power to change it.

Shit happens. Life is unfair.

But as long as you’re pointing fingers, you’re missing the point.

You have more control than you think.

But you have to take it.

Fix it: 

Stop making excuses.

Write down one thing you’re unhappy about. List three ways you can change it.

Then do one of them.

8. You Don’t Believe It’s Possible

If you don’t believe you can succeed, you won’t.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right-Henry Ford

It’s that simple. Your beliefs shape your reality.

If you think you’re destined to fail, you’ll find a way to make it happen.

This isn’t about magical thinking; it’s about setting the bar high enough to get off your ass and take action.

Fix it: 

Set a ridiculous goal. Break it down into baby steps.

Then, take one baby step towards it.

Then do it again. And again.

Momentum builds confidence.

9. You’re Afraid to Care

Indifference is a defense mechanism.

If you don’t care, you can’t get hurt.

But that’s bullshit. The real pain comes from never trying in the first place.

You’re scared that if you give it your all and still fail, it’ll break you.

It won't.

It’s not the failure that will kill you—it’s the regret of never having tried.

"Being Mortal," by Atul Gawande, is a new book I read recently.

It talks about the common regrets people express at the end of their lives.

Many of these regrets center around a lack of connection with loved ones.

The opportunities missed—a sense of not living life to the fullest.

Years ago, in my late 20s, I met a woman I truly cared for.

Despite the two-hour commute between our cities, we made it work.

Then, one day, she shared a devastating piece of news: she had discovered a lump in her breast.

Fearful and alone, she asked me to go with her to the doctor.

I should have prioritized her needs. But I didn't want to miss out on a trip to Vegas with friends.

I justified my decision with some self-righteous story. I had work commitments and couldn't afford to miss the trip.

It was a selfish and thoughtless choice that I still regret.

It turned out she was okay. She didn't want anything to do with me anymore, though.

I can't blame her.

Regardless of the outcome, I know that my choice was wrong.

I learned from it.

Boy, did I ever learn from it. That life lesson is burned into my soul.

Fear and self-interest lead us to make regrettable decisions.

Fix it: 

Find something you care about and throw yourself into it.

Even if you fail, you’ll be better for it.

And you won't look back ten years from now and kick yourself for it.

Regret is a bitch.

10. You Don’t Think You Deserve Success (Why You're Stuck)

Deep down, you’re convinced you don’t deserve what you want.

Maybe it’s because of your upbringing, past failures, or someone else’s voice in your head.

But it’s your life, and you’re the only one who can decide what you’re worthy of.

Most people who fail believe they’re supposed to fail.

They sabotage themselves to prove it.

Break the cycle.

Fix it: 

Write down why you deserve what you want.

Keep it where you can see it. Read it every day. Reprogram your mind to believe in yourself.

You’re not stuck because you’re not good enough.

You’re stuck because you’re not giving yourself a real chance.

It’s time to get out of your own way.

Until next time,

Jerod

Subtle reminder: If you want to break free from Self-limiting beliefs, overcome the fear that holds you back, and transform your life from within, check out new courses from Rugged Human.